'Ruminations: Encrypting My Mother Tongue' (Studio One, Auckland NZ, 2025) is a visual exploration of the universal struggle experienced by diasporic and mixed-race peoples for a mother tongue they may never know. The show integrates Pākehā artistic practices with aphorisms from Persian poetry to examine how the feelings of guilt, regret and dishonour provoked by this phenomenon can be channelled into aesthetic celebrations of heritage, home and belonging in the context of a multicultural Aotearoa. 

As a New Zealand-born child of a Persian mother and Pakeha father, my mother tongue has always felt just as distant and abstract as the land I whakapapa to. The unfortunate reality of this disconnect has stemmed from a diverse range of personal and interpersonal factors: the formative experience of growing up in a primarily English-speaking biracial household; the stubborn adolescent urge to forgo my ‘more ethnic’ heritage; the persistence of xenophobia in Aotearoa; and the more nuanced implications of the unrelenting state-sanctioned persecution of my fellow Bahá'ís in Iran. 

The personal ramifications of these experiences are profound. Language is not merely a tool for communication; it is a strong carrier of cultural identity. As a result, individuals like myself who cannot converse, read or write fluently in their mother tongue often grapple with the loss of an integral part of themselves. This sustained inability to fully engage with family, traditions, and practices from one’s ancestral homeland elicits heartfelt yearnings for a connection that remains out of reach.

‘Ruminations’ seeks to examine and ultimately transcend these sentiments through a methodology of calligraphic abstraction inspired by the practices of American expressionist painter Mark Tobey and Swedish artist-mystic Hilma af Klint, as well as traditional techniques of manuscript illumination. Calligraphic abstraction is particularly suited for this pursuit as it transcends the conventional boundaries of written language by employing the fluidity and grace of calligraphy to create abstract visual compositions that evoke meaning beyond words. 

In the case of ‘Ruminations’, the show’s playful yet reverent mixed-media works draw on verses from Persian poetry to initiate the process of calligraphic abstraction. Instead of illustrating the verses in their familiar English text translations (known to me), they are reduced from their original Persian script (unknown to me) into indecipherable abstract forms (known only to me). By encrypting and thereby reclaiming a mother tongue I have yet to fully decipher, associated feelings of longing transform into an opportunity for ruminations on what it means to belong. 

This opportunity for ruminations is in no way limited to the mixed-race and diasporic peoples of Tamaki Makaurau. It is an invitation to all people, regardless of their whakapapa and identity, to explore new ways of connecting to whatever feels like home.